Praying for Your High School Student

Maybe you already pray regularly for your student and your family. Maybe the whole idea of prayer seems a little awkward to you (and that’s okay!) No matter what your starting place, everyone can take one step forward when it comes to prayer.

This week, try taking your prayers for your student to the next level by choosing one of the options below.

1. Pray for your student. You think about them all the time. This week, try turning those thoughts into prayers. Even if you aren’t sure about God or church or religious things, just give it a try. It can’t hurt. 
2. Tell them you prayed for them. Maybe you pray for your student all the time, but they have no idea. This week, encourage your student by praying for them and then shooting them a text message letting them know you did. 
3. Pray out loud for them. The idea of praying out loud can be a little intimidating for anyone. But the benefits often outweigh our nerves. If you already pray for your student regularly, ask them how you can pray for them this week and try doing so out loud. A great place to pray for them is in the car on the way to school (just don’t close your eyes!) Knowing that you’re praying for them and hearing you pray can mean a lot to your student as he or she faces the challenges of the day—even if they never tell you!

Take A Leap

WE ARE TEACHING THIS:
Remember the thrill of thinking you could fly? When you were little, you believed you could do anything. You had faith that anything you did would be amazing! You spent hour after hour trying to be something, do something, and accomplish something, with no worry of what people would think.

I believed I would be a professional basketball player. I spent hours in the back yard, playing basketball, by myself, being every player on the team. I was Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. I would guard myself. Block my own shots. Foul myself. And in the end, I would both win and lose! I was amazing. I even cheered for myself (but I never put on a cheerleader skirt... until high school, but that was a joke). But at some point, as I grew, my imagination became dull. I haven't played basketball like that for a couple days now... 

Sometimes our faith does the same thing. There are points when we are on fire and totally trusting and seeing God work. Then, other times... it becomes dull and kinda boring. What if we could do something about those moments? What if God had something bigger planned for us than we realized? How would we notice it? Would we be willing to "take a leap" of faith and trust Him?

THINK ABOUT THIS: 
There is a difference between having faith... and having a child-like faith. In Matthew 18, Jesus calls out His disciples on this. Their faith was missing the point. They were more worried about being the greatest, than they were about trusting Jesus. They stopped believing in who Jesus was... their faith became dull and self-centered. In John 10:10, He even tells them that He is promising an abundant life! 

For many people growing up in the church, their faith becomes dull. Not that they lose faith... but they feel like they have heard it all before. Nothing surprises them. What about you and your family... has faith become dull and un-imaginative?

TRY THIS:
This week, talk to your kids about their faith. Ask them the following questions (and be ready to give them your honest answers, too)

• If you could be anything that God wanted you to be, what would it be?
• What one HUGE thing you want God to do that only He could do for you and/or your family and friends?
• What is one thing you want to accomplish before you graduate High School / or die?

Hide & Seek: The Roller Coaster

We’re Teaching This:

ESP: Keep those 3 letters in mind as you read this. I'll come back around to them. Hide & Seek would not be the same, without someone hiding and someone seeking. It's kinda creep if everyone is hiding (and no one is seeking)... and it's boring if everyone is seeking (and no one is hiding). Hide and Seek requires both hiders and seekers. When it comes to life, I've always said, if everything was always fine, it would always be boring. We don't like pain. We never want to see the ones we love, hurting. But it's the pain and hurt and brokenness in life, that allows us to understand joy. I know, sounds crazy... but think of it this way... all that Jesus went through on the cross... all that brokenness led to grace and joy for us! Without that, we would just be helpless, hopeless, and boring. But when things go bad, how we view those moments and how we react makes all the difference if we experience further brokenness or further joy. One of our girls groups, when asked, "how do you deal with pain in life", said "ESP: Eat, Sleep, Pray". I told them that was good... nice that they included prayer, but what happens 5-10 years down the road when every time something bad happened they ate ice cream, then slept, and sprinkled in a prayer? After a few years, they will probably look in the mirror and move from brokenness into depression because of the affect tubs of ice cream and sleeping would have on their body. Sometimes the way we deal with the bad times, just leads to more worse times. 

Think About This:

So we focused on what Peter tells us to do when we suffer in 1 Peter 5:6-10:

• Humble Yourself (1 Pet. 5:6)
• It's not about putting yourself down. Being humble is being real with who you are, and Who you aren't. People without humility think the world revolves around them. They don't do anything wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Humble people realize their part in the pain, realize they are not always in control of what happens to them... but they also realize WHO is. They are not God, but God is. They are sinners, God is holy. The world revolves around God, not them.
• Be Alert (5:8)
• It's not so much about looking for the devil. Satan does not do anything that Jesus does not allow him to. It's more about realizing that when we are broken, hurting, and in pain, we are more susceptible to falling prey... we are more apt to sin
• Resist Sin (5:9)
• Who you put your faith in is key... faith in yourself, your friends, your family, your finances, your escapes... or faith in God. God loves you more than you can imagine. God knows what's best for you, even when life doesn't make sense. And God is control, no matter what happens. Don't give in to the lie that Satan is in control, that everyone hates you, that God hates you, that you aren't loved, that you are too messed up. Those are all lies... and easy lies to believe when bad things happen

Try This

In light of all that, what can we do, with out kids, when they go through hard times? How about when we go tough moments. The truth is, pain will come. Hurt will come. Brokenness will happen. But remembering that

GOD TURNS BROKEN INTO BEAUTIFUL 

seems hard to remember. Here are 2 things to do with your kids this week (and throughout the month/year) that may help remind them of God's promises (note what Peter says God will do if they work through the suffering moment with humility, alertness, and resistance - 1 Peter 5:10):

1. Pray through Joy
• WOW - What makes you say "Wow"? When things are going well, pray and tell God what He did was a "wow-moment" for you.
• THANKS - It's easy to forget to thank God (or others) when things are going well. Take the time to thank God specifically this week, as a family.
2. Pray through Pain
• HONEST - Sometimes, we don't understand God or why things happen. One way to work through that is to be honest with God. David and other Psalmists (in the book of Psalms) we very honest with their feelings towards God. Job was confused by what was happening, and was honest with God. Sometimes being honest can be the best thing for our (and our student's) faith)
• HELP - Sometimes we need help. Not only from our friends and family, but from God. And He is ultimately the only one that can really help us. He may not answer the way we want Him to... but refer to above ("Humble Yourself"), He is God and we are not.

Put this into practice as a family this week. Take the time to pray through your joy if it's a good week... and pray through your pain if it's not so good. Look for those moments, each day, to do that with your kids. Remember,

GOD TURNS BROKEN INTO BEAUTIFUL

Hide & Seek Series

We’re Teaching This:

Remember the game Hide & Seek? Crouched in a corner? Trying to breathe without making noise? One person hides and another person seeks. That’s how it works. The truth is, it’s not all that different from our lives now. We may do it in different ways, but we are all trying to hide from things we don’t like. Things like pain, embarrassment and fear. We hide from things that hurt us. On the flip side, we’re all seeking certain things too. We spend a lot of time and energy seeking acceptance, excitement, fun, and whatever will make us feel good. The hard truth is we are rarely successful. What happens when our best efforts fail? When, no matter how hard we try, pain still gets in and happiness still gets away? Sometimes, part of growing up is deciding to stop playing the game.

Think About This:

7am: I hate my outfit.

3pm: Yes! School’s out!

5pm: I hate my life.

8pm: Best day ever!

Live with a teen long enough and you’ll start to see a pattern: up, down, good mood, bad mood, happy, sad. We’ve all heard about the emotional swings of adolescence and probably remember living through our own version of it. Any combination of homework, happenings, and hormones can turn them into a grouchy mess or a giggling goofball. Actually, research indicates that, during puberty, teen’s brains develop the ability to experience intense emotions like rage, sorrow, and elation. Unfortunately, neural connections that help students control and process these emotions doesn’t develop until later.   (http://www.livescience.com/21461-teen-brain-adolescence-facts.html )

So pace yourself, because for at least a few years, you’ll have teens who have strong emotions but no tools to sort through them yet. The good news is, there are a few things you can do to help them navigate the ups and downs until your teenager figures out how to work through the on their own.

1. Be there for them, but don’t join in. As much as they hate to admit it, students will often take emotional cues from their parents. How you react to their situation will give them an idea of how they should react. So, as parents, we must be careful not to get sucked in to the meaningless drama of the lunch table or the contagious funk of teen angst. Empathize, but don’t participate. This doesn’t mean we have to hide our emotions or live like robot, but it does mean that we don’t hop on the emotional roller coaster with them every time it goes by.

2. Help them zoom out. Perspective is everything. Often with teens, when one thing is going badly they feel like everything in their life is falling apart. Or, if one thing is going well, they may focus on that and feel that nothing else matters. Either way, it us up to us to help them find perspective until their brains mature enough to sort out what is a big deal and what isn’t. This doesn’t mean we belittle their emotions. What they feel is very real to them, but we can help them gain some perspective by working to zoom out their lens and take in the bigger picture.  Ask them to tell you…

…one good thing that happened to them today.

…5 things they’re thankful for.

…2 things they’re looking forward to doing.

Focusing on what’s going well or what’s coming next or can help them digest what’s happening now.

Try This

Sometimes the best thing we can do for our students is simply to let them know we’re praying for them. Here are two options to help you get started:

1. Choose one thing to pray for your student this week. Don’t make it behavior related, but rather something you want for them. And drop a sticky note in their lunch or backpack letting them know.  It can be as simple as, “Hey, I’m praying for you to have a great basketball practice this week” or “Hey, I’m praying for you to feel confident this week”.
2. Ask your student how you can pray for them or their friends this week. And promise to do it. Since prayer requests are so personal, this is probably not the time to launch into a lesson or follow up questions. Simply let your student know that you love them and you’re praying for whatever is important to them.

 Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org. 

Branded: Unity

1. We’re Teaching this.

Branding- it’s everywhere. You can’t turn on the TV or drive down the street without seeing hundreds of ads and billboards. Companies spend millions of dollars trying to shape how YOU see THEM, developing their brand. But what about the Church? What are WE known for? Philippians chapter 2, has a lot to say about the way we love others. As we unpack this chapter, we discover that our love for people, both inside and outside the church, ultimately determines what we are known for—our brand. 

This week, we our key Biblical principle was: TOGETHER WE CAN DO MORE

There is something about being in a group of people that empowers us. In our day and age where being a Christian is nearly evil, as a group, we can do so much more. We have support, encouragement, infused energy, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to hug, a companion who is pointing us back to the Gospel. That's why youth group, church, and serving in ministry is so important. We see the value of being together in the first 2 verse of Philippians 2. 

The guys groups said that we should be known for being welcoming, focused on God, and fun. Take a look at those first 2 verses in Philippians 2 and see if you see those same expectations from Paul.

2. Think About This

I read this article and I thought it was a great way to challenge us, as parents, this month.

From Losing Your Marbles / Playing for Keeps by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Elizabeth Hansen

"I remember a few years ago when I was leading a small group and one of the girls had stopped attending. I knew she was making some unwise choices related to drinking, and she was choosing not to come to church anymore because she didn't want to feel judged. But here’s the interesting thing: she still liked hanging out. We would meet from time to time, at Starbucks, at a school event,—anywhere that she knew we would have fun. And
in those moments, I didn't talk about her decisions. She knew what I thought. But I knew at that juncture in her life, it was more important to have fun and stay connected than to continue reminding her of something she already knew.

Hint: most kids and teenagers shut down when you take the eye-to-eye, “let’s talk about what’s going on” approach, they tend to talk when they’re engaged in a fun activity, not making eye contact, and feel in control of the agenda.

If you’re a parent, you may need to set aside time with your kids when you agree not to discuss their issues. This can be especially true if they are in a tough season of life. When the tension is high, you need a scheduled break—just to have fun together.

It’s not that fun is the most important thing. If you give teenagers words and stories that are boring, they may not care. If you belong to a tribe that never laughs, they won’t want to be a part of it.

So whatever you do this week,

MAKE IT FUN."

3. Try This

When is the last time your family had fun without an agenda? No strings attached, fun? No lesson involved, fun? No obligations to the baseball team, work picnic, church activity or school involved, fun?

Maybe it’s time for that.

Ask your student for ideas on something that they think would be really fun to do as a family. Students tend to engage more when they have some input into which activity is chosen. Say something like this, “I think it’s time we do something fun as a family. How would you feel about planning it?” Some students really like to go to the mall. Others hate it. Some would love to play mini-golf with their family. Others would cringe at the idea. Allowing them to plan the event, offering some ownership, can help students have a positive attitude and prevent the dreaded eye-roll.  

As parents, sometimes the idea of a family event can be intimidating. “What if my teenager doesn't want to be seen in public with me?”  That’s the great thing about letting THEM choose. They may choose a big night out but or they may ask for a simple movie night in the house. Choose to have fun together no matter what you do!  Simply spending time together as a family without fighting can go a long way in easing the tension between parents and teens.

Make a commitment on your part to do the activity—no agenda, no complaining, and no lecturing. So give them a budget limit, if appropriate, and let them be as creative or as simple as they want

Just have fun together. Remember, the goal is to let students know you not only love them, but you like them and what better way to communicate that than by hanging out with them and having fun? 

Road Signs: Caution (Weeks 3 & 4)

Your direction, not your intentions, determine your destination.

Your attention influences your direction

For a High School student, this doesn't sink in until they've already headed down the wrong path. It's our responsibility as parents to help our kids see which path they should take. Even if they don't take it... we have the challenge of helping them navigate their path. 

1. We’re Teaching This

What you put your attention on, has tremendous influence on what direction you go. That's why time reading your Bible, praying, going to church/youth group, and seeing every relationship as an opportunity to point someone to Christ is so important. It may not reap immediate benefits, but by giving those things your attention, you will be better prepared to make tough decisions when you come to them.

2. Think About This

If you are going on a trip, 20 years ago, you would have pulled out a map of the place you were going and you would have marked key places you wanted to go. At my daughter's elementary school, the 6th grade class would go to San Francisco. They had to mark, on a map, the places they wanted to go and what buses or public transportation they needed to take to get there. There's something to be said about preparing to make decisions before you have to make decisions. It's a huge stress relief when you know where you are going and how to get there. 

But in real life situations, we just find ourselves at a point of having to make a decision... so how do we help our kids see the value of spending time with God, in His Word, praying, and being the Gospel in our relationships?

3. Try This

Step 1: MODEL

• What do you give your "attention" to? Are you spending time in God's Word, praying, living our the Gospel in your relationships? 

Step 2: ENCOURAGE

• Each month, we have a new series. And with each series, we have a Bible Study book that goes along with the series. Encourage your teens to grab one of the booklets and ask them what they are learning in their time with God through the Bible Study.
• Ask your teens for things in their lives (or people they know) that needs prayer. Commit to praying for them for the week. Even take time to pray with them for those things.

Step 3: LISTEN

• Listen to their stories. Find out how their day went ( I know this can be like "pulling teeth through the arm-pit"). Look for teachable moments... not to preach at them, but to find out what they are thinking and learning through their experiences. You may even want to document what you hear from them, so that down the road, you can remember what to pray for them, for; and you can show them how God is working in their lives over the years.

NEW SERIES STARTS THIS SUNDAY! GAME ON (A STUDY OF DANIEL)

Road Signs: One Way (Week 1 & 2)

You direction, not your intentions, determine your destination.

For a High School student, this doesn't sink in until they've already headed down the wrong path. It's our responsibility as parents to help our kids see which path they should take. Even if they don't take it... we have the challenge of helping them navigate their path. 

So a little different format this month... a challenge to start off:

1. We’re Teaching This

If you set your course in the wrong direction, you’ll end up in the wrong place every time. No matter where you hope to end up, the road you choose matters. The book of Proverbs gives us wisdom to help navigate the choices of life, because we know that each choice determines the direction of our lives. And it’s our direction, not our intention that ultimately determines our destination. Where are you heading? What path are you on?

2. Think About This

It’s easy—in the midst of the busy-ness and craziness of life—to get off course. It’s easy to forget goals we’ve set and ideas we once had of who we want to be and just keep trucking along, ticking things off our lists and getting the next “thing” done. It’s the tyranny of the urgent and it often keeps us stuck in the immediacy of the moment.

This can be true for our families as well, can’t it? We start off with young children, thinking about all of the goals we have—the values and virtues we want to instill and model for our children. And then, life happens and things just start going too fast. And suddenly, we see road signs—we see warnings—telling us that maybe, somewhere along the line, we’ve gotten off course. It’s the moment we realize that though we intended to head in one direction, our choices of what to do with our time, money, words and actions take us in a different direction.

It’s totally normal. It’s a place most people with children—of any age—often find themselves. And it’s a place we don’t have to stay in.

To remedy it, it may be that the best thing to do is to take a step back and look around. Look back at the things we had once hoped for our families. And then, look forward towards the steps we can take to get to where we ultimately want to go. Make a plan. Take a moment to pause and refocus—to do a little course-correction. A small pause and a little action can go a long way.

3. Try This

Pick Two: Two Words, Two Rules, Two Answers

Get your family together to try the following:

Two Words

Together, pick two words/phrases that you would like to describe your family. Feel free to come up with some of your own as well:

• fun
• connected
• generous
• healthy
• less busy
• good communicators
• patient
• open to other people/families
• servants
• good stewards

Two Rules

There are two rules for when your family does this.

1)     Don’t call anyone out. This is not a chance to dish, bash or point figures. It’s a chance to move forward.

2)     There are no perfect answers. Just start brainstorming and go from there!

Two Answers

1)     What is the first step you need to take to make each of the words/phrases you chose above a reality for your family?

2)     What kind of mile markers and guardrails/boundaries can you set up as a family to make sure you stay on course for the long haul? 

Week 4: LIVE315 - Gentleness & Respect

YOUR MAIN PURPOSE FOR HAVING RELATIONSHIPS IS TO POINT THEM TO THE GOSPEL

We wrap up our series by looking at the last part of 1 Peter 3:15... the "how to" section.

We use a phrase in our culture... "DIY" or "Do it Yourself". The idea of "doing it yourself" is that whatever project you are doing, you will save money and get what you want if you "do it yourself". 

When it comes to living our our faith, it's important that we don't just go through the motions (see logo on the left). We can't forget that God calls us to something more. Throughout the Bible, God tells us to "go and make disciples". Sure, He can send missionaries to do that. He can "hire" professionals... but He calls us to "do it ourselves". We are all called to point the people we come into contact with, towards the Gospel.

Obviously, the next question is "how do I do this?" Well, in regards to people noticing something different about us, Peter tells us to react to life situations, tension, frustrations, even suffering with "GENTLENESS AND RESPECT". Easier said than done? Absolutely... unless you have the Holy Spirit residing in you. If you honor Christ as holy in your heart, you will be prepared to give an answer because people will see the hope that is in you... and to have a lifestyle of gentleness and respect only adds to the curiosity people will have for the "hope that is in you".

So where is your hope? What about your teen? What about your family? Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 3:14-18

What does "gentleness & respect" look like with authority, husbands & wives, and even children?

Discuss: 

• What are some ways we should show "gentleness" in how we respond to someone?
• What are some ways we should show "respect" in how we treat someone?
• Who are some "relationships" that God has put us in, that need to know about the hope that we have in Christ? Pray for them as a family.

Week 3: What You Put Hope In, Matters: HOPE

WHAT YOU PUT YOUR HOPE IN, MATTERS

We can hope in a lot of things. I hope that I don't fall down today. I hope that all my wildest dreams come true. I hope that my wife forgets that I forgot our anniversary. I hope I pass this test... even though I didn't study. I hope that God is who He says He is and will do what He's promised to do.

Obviously, "hope" can carry a lot of meaning. But, after 18+ years in youth ministry, 1 thing about teenagers hasn't changed: The need for something to "hope" in. 

If their hope is in stuff (money, popularity, friends, career, grades, etc.), then they tend to live with a lot of disappointment. Those who hope in things that are unpredictable tend to throw words around like "depressed", "life sucks", "YOLO", etc. Or they use excuses for their behavior and choices, simply to cover up their disappointment in things they have "hoped" for.

But those who put their hope in God... they are different. They stand out. There seems to be something different about them. It's like they get "it". They appreciate Jesus' sacrifice differently than most. People want to be around them. Some people may be put off by them... but many end up wanting what they have... hope.

Tim Tebow is a great example of this... in the pro football world, he drives "experts" crazy. They can't understand how he can put his hope in God, even when life doesn't work out perfectly. Why does he give God glory, even when life "sucks"... he gets traded from a team whom he played his heart out for, led them to the playoffs and into a big win (while throwing the ball over 300 yards)... he gives God the glory. He endures a terrible season with a team who didn't want him. He gives God the glory. He gets cut from another team after an amazing performance with guys who weren't going to make the team... he gives God the glory. He uses phrases like "I don't know the future, but I know the One who does. I'm trusting that He knows what's best for me." Even when life doesn't make sense. That's hope... hope in a future that is unimaginable with a God who loves us more than we can imagine.

So where is your hope? What about your teen? What about your family? Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 3:14-18

What does it mean to give a "reason for the hope that is in you..."?

Discuss: 

• What are some things we should put our hope in?
• What are some things that have happened that we haven't liked?
• How can we put our hope in God through those situations and ones like it in the future?

Week 2 - What You Do Now Prepares You For What Happens Next: PREPARED

WHAT YOU DO NOW PREPARES YOU FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

After playing 4 years of college basketball, I can easily look back and see how all those hours of practice prepared me for each game. But little did I know that all those hours at practice was preparing me to be a father, a husband, a pastor, a counselor, a mentor, a coach, a leader, and a follower of Christ. Sometimes, we don't realize how important "being prepared" really is 

In 1 Peter 3:15 (and as we saw last week), Peter challenges us to begin with honoring Christ in our hearts... our bottom line last week was, "Standing up begins in the heart". If you want to stand up for something, then who or what we are honoring should be first and foremost in our minds. When we do put Christ first and honor Him as holy, people will notice... they will question... and when they do, Peter wants us ready to give an answer. 

He uses the word "prepared" on purpose. We see throughout 1 Peter 1 & 2, that what we do now, prepares us for what(ever) happens next. If our actions are full of hate, retaliation, deceit, hypocrisy, and/or to slander others (see 1 Peter 2:1), we will actually be limiting our future. Peter wants us too look past the glass being half empty or half full... quit dwelling on this moment or feeling. What is beyond the glass? You are chosen, a royal priesthood, a child of God with the promise of an inheritance... so what happens today, pales in comparison to what will happen in the future.

The key is this... looking past the now, and preparing for what could happen next. That's why going to youth group, family devotions, church, personal devotions, prayer, memorizing Scripture, serving others... all are so important. Because each of those faith-skills is preparing you for whatever may happen next.Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 2:9-12

What does it mean that you (and your family) are a chosen race, a royal priesthood?

Discuss: 

• How is submitting to authority preparing someone for later on?
• Have a dating discussion... how is dating preparing a person for marriage? (See 1 Peter 3:1-7)
• How have you seen God's mercy at work in your family?

Week 1 - Standing Up Begins in the Heart: Honor

STANDING UP BEGINS IN THE HEART

This week, we began by looking at 1 Peter 3:15. Peter speaks into the idea of standing up for what's right (being righteous) and suffering for it. This is all too common in our kids' lives today. Being a Christian is not a popular thing. Christians are seen as judgmental, arrogant, hateful, and exclusive... all things that are the opposite of what being a Christian is. But how do you combat a worldview that you can't control? The early Christians were in the same predicament... and Peter wanted to help them with "giving an answer for the hope" they had in Christ. Our students can learn this as well. 

Peter says that standing up begins with honoring Christ as Lord in your heart. In 1 Peter 1, he gives them the perspective a Christian should have... most people see the glass as half-empty or half-full... he tells the early Christians to look past the glass and focus on the inheritance God has for them. When struggles come, when pain comes, when rejection comes, look past the glass. 

He goes on in 1:13 to focus on being "holy", even when no one else around is trying to live to that standard. Then, in 2:1-5, he challenges them that they are to be "living stones" (click here for further insight: Living Standing Stones Article). They are to be an example of what God has done.

None of this is possible if an individual's heart is not focused in the right direction... on honoring Christ in everything they do. Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 1:13-20

What are you and your kids doing now, that is preparing their minds for action?

Discuss: 

• What are you doing to prepare, as a family, for standing up for what you believe?
• What is 1 thing, as a family, we can do better to be more prepared?
• What are some "living stone" moments that our family has experienced where we have seen God at work?

LIVE 315: Intro

"How do I stand up without sticking out?"

Big question. Initially, we may think the one asking the question lacks faith or is embarrassed about what they believe. But when you dig deeper and listen, it's not about fear of being wrong... it's a fear of being rejected. But the beauty of being a Christian is that everyone can be accepted. In fact, Christianity should be the most loving, welcoming, and life-changing religion. 

But we know the being a Christian isn't about religion... "it's a relationship". But what if what we believe will actually hurt that relationship? Sticking out for what we believe may be a deeper issue than just saying, "You have to have faith." Peter gives specific principles that will help any teenager who is "working out their own salvation", figure out how to stand up without sticking out.

Read: 

1 Peter 2:1-3

• Our kids are growing up. Hopefully they aren't still drinking baby's milk from the bottle... actually, I hope they aren't drinking baby's milk. I hope we don't think that by sending them to church, that will make them grow up to be like Jesus... it will help, but it won't make them like Jesus. Our kids will become like the ones they spend the most time with... their greatest influence isn't TV stars, movies, music, friends, teachers, or even church. It's their parents. And what their parents show them within their faith, will become their faith. Our kids are trying to own their own faith. Physically or emotionally hurting someone, lying, saying one thing but doing another, wanting what other people have, making fun of people and making other look bad... those are all "childish" reactions... issues of a bigger heart issue. Open up the discussion this week and contrast "childish faith" vs. "adult faith". Are there any differences? Make sure you answer the questions honestly, too.

Discuss: 

• What is the difference about acting like a child and acting like an adult?
• Which childish behavior are you most prone to?: Angry reactions; Lying; Hypocrisy; Envy; Putting others down
• In what ways has God been good to us?

I Wish

In the main services, we are looking at the subject of "Doubt"... the other side of the coin is "Regret". While doubt may keep us from responding with trust, regret is a consequence of letting your doubts or fears control your reactions. Understand this... our kids have doubts. They may not verbalize them... but they have doubts. Doubts can be a healthy part of our faith-development. But regret... that's a whole different issue.

We all have regrets—decisions we wish we could take back. And sometimes we also get the chance to realize the benefits of a good decision. So what makes the difference between the two? And what does Jesus have to say that can help us have less “I wish I had” moments and more “I’m glad I did” ones?

This week, we said - Do we want to look back on our teen years with more "I wish I had" moments or "I'm glad I did" moments?

Read: 

Matthew 7:24-27

• This is a famous parable. And while we tend to focus on the "rock" and the "sand" foundations. We forget another aspect. Both of these "home builders" had been taught how to build a house. They both had been trained. They both had experienced storms. They both had the same supplies... the difference is that one of them decided to ask themselves "The Best Question Ever"... WHAT IS THE WISE THING TO DO? This question, when put into practice, eliminates many "I wish I had" moments. Jesus said that following His word is what set these builders apart. So... what is the wise thing to do? Follow Jesus' words, or not?

Discuss: 

• What is the difference between "Regret" and "Doubt"?
• Share about some times when you look back and you "wish you had" done something different
• Share about some times when you look back and you were "glad you did" in some situations

REVEAL: Refocus

Miracles. The Gospels are riddled with these amazing acts of compassion and mercy. It's so easy to get caught up in the "miracles" (WHAT), that we miss the main point of the miracle itself (WHO)... glorifying God.

The greatest miracle... the champion of all miracles? That's an easy discussion... Jesus' death and resurrection. Think of it: God died. Actually died. Not "went to sleep". Not "went into a coma". He died. And, 3 days later, He rose from the dead. And why? So that you and I could have a relationship with Him. 

The miracle of Jesus’ resurrection refocus’ us on the WHO through the WHAT 

When we accept Christ as our Savior, we begin to identify with His death and resurrection. But there are 2 foundational expressions of that identity that we practice... that may be minimized more than we intend to:

1. Communion
• Communion is a way that we have been called to remember what Christ did for us on the cross. It's intent is to refocus us and remind us what it means to be identified with Christ and the miracle of His death. 
• It's not intended to be something that we only remember once a month when we take it as a church... whenever we "break bread" or drink something that reminds us of His blood and body that was punished and poured out for us... we should remember His sacrifice
2. Baptism
• Baptism is a way that we identify with Christ's resurrection. We are following Him and identifying ourselves with Him through an act of testimony and obedience.
• It's not just for those who are "Christians" or just our church... it can be a great expression for our non-christian friends to see what is most important to us.

READ: Galatians 2:20 & Ephesians 4:20-25

Discuss:

• What could communion look like on a daily basis for you and your family?
• What do you and your family feel about baptism?
• If you haven't been baptized... what's holding you back?
• If you have... what's a way you can continue to identify with Jesus' resurrection?
• This week, sit as a family and watch "The Passion". It's an incredible visual reminder of what Christ went through and what we are identifying with...

REVEAL: Reconnect

So we missed last week... but here's the gist: "A miracle reveals how good God is"... and last week we said "A miracle reminds us who God is." Remember, a miracle is not about the WHAT, it's about the WHO. The miracle itself doesn't matter if God is not glorified. Last week, we talked about a miracle that usually isn't seen as a miracle: Jesus (God in the flesh) washing the feet of the disciples. Think about it... God washing feet! And then, Jesus says that those who follow Him will do "greater things" than He has done. We looked at the Greek word for "greater things" and it is a word that is more about compassion, acts of mercy, and teachings than it is healing, raising from the dead, and feeding people with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. There's a lot more to it... but that's where we got to up to this past Sunday... 

So this Sunday, we discussed another miracle that isn't usually thought of as a miracle: The Holy Spirit in us! Ok.. time to blow our minds: God... in Spirit... inside of us! Pastor Craig's question of "would you rather have Jesus beside you or the Holy Spirit inside you?"... that's a big question. A miracle that while the universe cannot contain God, He can dwell inside of you and I! So what does that miracle reveal?

A MIRACLE REVEALS GOD'S DESIRE TO CONNECT WITH US

Look at John 15-17... it's all about Jesus' sharing His desire that you and I be connected to God! If that doesn't blow your mind... think of it this way: 1 little sin... 1 slight "white lie" forever separates us from God. But Jesus' death and resurrection and our belief, somehow, is enough for God to see us as "sanctified" (holy, set apart). I would think that if someone sinned against me, and then I had to send my only son to die for them, I'm not sure I would want a relationship with that person... and yet that's exactly what God wants from us... He even pursues us!

And that's the role of the Holy Spirit... to guide us and bring us closer to God. 

Discuss:

• Would you rather... have Jesus beside you for 1 day or the Holy Spirit inside you for the rest of your life? (duh)
• Would you rather... have Jesus beside you every day or the Holy Spirit inside you for 1 day?... tougher question
• What blows your mind about the Holy Spirit?

Reveal: Redfine

This month, we continue through John as we look at what the different miracles that Jesus performed... why did he perform miracles for some and not others? What was the real purpose of those miracles? What kind of miracles happen today?

To start, we need to refine what a "miracle" really was about... it was not to show how cool Jesus was. The miracles were not intended to point people at Jesus... What we see throughout the scripture is that every Miracle that was performed was to reveal who God was. Many times, we get hung up on "the miracle". When your perspective on something is mis-guided, it's easy to misunderstand the intent. A miracle was meant to show and prove the glory and "goodness" of God in a time when both of those things were in question. We get so focused on the "WHAT" that we miss the "WHO". Jesus was constantly trying to get get people to look past the "WHAT" that had just happened... He always tried to point people to the "WHO"... God. 

A MIRACLE REVEALS HOW GOOD GOD IS

A Miracle only fully accomplishes it's purpose when it points back to God. Think of it this way... in each miracle, did the individual eventually die? Like Lazarus... one day, he's alive... then he's dead for 4 days... then he's alive. For how long, we don't know he lived after that, but it's a pretty safe guess that eventually, he died again. The miracle wasn't permanent. But God is... and the intent of every miracle was to promote the goodness and glory of God.

Look at John 11 (and the previous chapters)

Discuss:

• What are some miracles that we see in the Bible?
• What are some miracles that we have seen, in our everyday lives?
• What are some miracles we would like to see, today?

unLIKELY People Part 2

unLIKELY: An unLikely Person

PARENT SYNC:
Read John 3-4

God is not attracted to our abilities. He also isn't distracted by our inabilities. He simply wants us to trust Him and to be available to be used by Him. But how can God use us? What are we supposed to do?

One of our key principles that we teach is that "our main purpose for having friends is to point them to Jesus". The key is getting past ourselves, seeing who Jesus is, and recognizing how much we and our friends need Jesus.

This week, we determined that:

God uses unlikely people... to reach unlikely people

In John 3-4, we see 3 unlikely characters: 

• Nicodemus: He didn't need Jesus
• He knew all about the Old Testament. He had grown up in the temple and around religious elite leaders. He knew the Old Testament inside and out... and then came Jesus. He goes to meet with Jesus at night... maybe because he was embarrassed. Maybe because he had been busy during the day.
• When he realized that he needed Jesus, we see that he stands up for Jesus in John 7. And he provides expensive perfumes for Jesus' burial in John 19. Nicodemus' belief was put into action
• Samaritan Woman: She didn't deserve Jesus
• Her life was a mess. She was nothing more than an object. And yet Jesus saw something else in her. When she realized that she was loved and accepted, she brought her friends to meet Jesus
• Officer: He didn't know Jesus
• He didn't have to believe what the Jews believed about God. He had his own beliefs. But when life got tough and his beliefs didn't work, he turned to Jesus. Someone pointed him to Jesus. Someone told him about Jesus. And that "nudge" by that someone moved the officer to approach Jesus. And Jesus didn't change the way the officer believed (believe this and that will happen)... Jesus used it to reveal who Jesus really was... and the officer's entire family was changed.

3 unlikely characters. A Pharisee. A Samaritan woman. A Roman... each, when they connected with Jesus, they were changed and pointed their friends to Him.

Discuss the following...

• What makes you unlikely to be used by God?
• Who are some people that you are friends with that either don't "need" Jesus; don't "deserve" Jesus; or don't "know" Jesus?
• What are some things we can invite them to that will help point them to Jesus?

unLIKELY People

*New Series*
unLIKELY: An unLikely Person

PARENT SYNC:
Read John 1

For many students, it's difficult for them to believe that God could use them. But when we read the Bible, we see that God used unlikely people in unlikely places to get unlikely results. So what is it in many of our kids that limits them? Why don't they see how God can use them? 

This week, we determined that:

God is not attracted to our abilities; Or distracted by our inabilities

Look how God used John the Baptist in John 1. Then, look at the disciples. The disciples were mostly teenagers who were considered to be "not good enough" to follow a rabbi. And back then, that was like being on a varsity sports team or on student council or getting mega-scholarships for college. His first disciples were rejects. 2 of them had been disciples of a crazy tree-hugging hippie who made people get in a nasty, dirty river. He ate locusts! This is the only guy who would accept these 2 disciples... no wonder when they met Jesus, they ditched him.

Here's the deal, your kids need to know that God loves them the way they are and can use them, regardless of their abilities, inabilities, past, present, or future. And the best way for them to begin to process this is through reading God's Word and open, honest discussions with adults who are crazy about them. So... show that you are crazy about your kids... 

Discuss the following...

• What are some things you remember from the "talk" on Sunday morning?
• What are some abilities or qualities you wish you had?
• What are some of your abilities that God can use?

Next Steps: When Tragedy Hits Home

Next Steps: When Tragedy Hits Home: What To Say To Your Kids When Tragedy Happens by Matt Matzke Obviously, this past weekend has been full of sadness, prayers, and ...

Guardrails Pt. 2

Swerve


PARENT SYNC:
Read Proverbs 13:20

Our students live in a world that is consistently pulling them away from what they know is right. Their friends and peers can often be the ones pulling them in those directions. We would all agree that it isn't good to only have "Christian" friends because we know it has a tendency to limit our child's worldview (and kind of moves them away from the Gospel). But as parents, we also know it's not good if our kids let their friends pull them the wrong direction.

And to add to that tension, we all have regrets from our past. And most of those regrets revolve around friendships, dating, and decisions that pulled us away from God.

This week, we determined that:

Our friends influence the quality and direction of our lives

Eventually, the people we spend time with with influence us. In Proverbs 13:20, we see that if we spend time with fools, we will become fools. If we spend time with the wise, we will become wise. So the real question becomes, "How do I help my child recognize foolish and wise choices... especially when it comes to friendships? Maybe the following discussion will help... I would suggest that with this topic, you use the 80/20 rule. You listen 80% of the time and only talk 20% of the time. Tell them, "I heard you talked about friends on Sunday. There was a phrase "our friends influence the quality and direction of your life"... what did you think of that talk this past Sunday?

Discuss the following...

• What is it that you like most about your friends?
• What worries you most about your friends?
• What are some guardrails you have made in regards to your friends?

Further Study: One of the best books I think every parent should read is "The Best Question Ever" by Andy Stanley. Over the next couple weeks, we are taking the High School group through the process of learning how to ask the best question ever ("What is the wise thing to do?")... but it would be good for us parents to read the book and begin to teach our kids to apply it when it comes to the decisions they are making in life.