Hide & Seek: The Roller Coaster

We’re Teaching This:

ESP: Keep those 3 letters in mind as you read this. I'll come back around to them. Hide & Seek would not be the same, without someone hiding and someone seeking. It's kinda creep if everyone is hiding (and no one is seeking)... and it's boring if everyone is seeking (and no one is hiding). Hide and Seek requires both hiders and seekers. When it comes to life, I've always said, if everything was always fine, it would always be boring. We don't like pain. We never want to see the ones we love, hurting. But it's the pain and hurt and brokenness in life, that allows us to understand joy. I know, sounds crazy... but think of it this way... all that Jesus went through on the cross... all that brokenness led to grace and joy for us! Without that, we would just be helpless, hopeless, and boring. But when things go bad, how we view those moments and how we react makes all the difference if we experience further brokenness or further joy. One of our girls groups, when asked, "how do you deal with pain in life", said "ESP: Eat, Sleep, Pray". I told them that was good... nice that they included prayer, but what happens 5-10 years down the road when every time something bad happened they ate ice cream, then slept, and sprinkled in a prayer? After a few years, they will probably look in the mirror and move from brokenness into depression because of the affect tubs of ice cream and sleeping would have on their body. Sometimes the way we deal with the bad times, just leads to more worse times. 

Think About This:

So we focused on what Peter tells us to do when we suffer in 1 Peter 5:6-10:

• Humble Yourself (1 Pet. 5:6)
• It's not about putting yourself down. Being humble is being real with who you are, and Who you aren't. People without humility think the world revolves around them. They don't do anything wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Humble people realize their part in the pain, realize they are not always in control of what happens to them... but they also realize WHO is. They are not God, but God is. They are sinners, God is holy. The world revolves around God, not them.
• Be Alert (5:8)
• It's not so much about looking for the devil. Satan does not do anything that Jesus does not allow him to. It's more about realizing that when we are broken, hurting, and in pain, we are more susceptible to falling prey... we are more apt to sin
• Resist Sin (5:9)
• Who you put your faith in is key... faith in yourself, your friends, your family, your finances, your escapes... or faith in God. God loves you more than you can imagine. God knows what's best for you, even when life doesn't make sense. And God is control, no matter what happens. Don't give in to the lie that Satan is in control, that everyone hates you, that God hates you, that you aren't loved, that you are too messed up. Those are all lies... and easy lies to believe when bad things happen

Try This

In light of all that, what can we do, with out kids, when they go through hard times? How about when we go tough moments. The truth is, pain will come. Hurt will come. Brokenness will happen. But remembering that

GOD TURNS BROKEN INTO BEAUTIFUL 

seems hard to remember. Here are 2 things to do with your kids this week (and throughout the month/year) that may help remind them of God's promises (note what Peter says God will do if they work through the suffering moment with humility, alertness, and resistance - 1 Peter 5:10):

1. Pray through Joy
• WOW - What makes you say "Wow"? When things are going well, pray and tell God what He did was a "wow-moment" for you.
• THANKS - It's easy to forget to thank God (or others) when things are going well. Take the time to thank God specifically this week, as a family.
2. Pray through Pain
• HONEST - Sometimes, we don't understand God or why things happen. One way to work through that is to be honest with God. David and other Psalmists (in the book of Psalms) we very honest with their feelings towards God. Job was confused by what was happening, and was honest with God. Sometimes being honest can be the best thing for our (and our student's) faith)
• HELP - Sometimes we need help. Not only from our friends and family, but from God. And He is ultimately the only one that can really help us. He may not answer the way we want Him to... but refer to above ("Humble Yourself"), He is God and we are not.

Put this into practice as a family this week. Take the time to pray through your joy if it's a good week... and pray through your pain if it's not so good. Look for those moments, each day, to do that with your kids. Remember,

GOD TURNS BROKEN INTO BEAUTIFUL

Hide & Seek Series

We’re Teaching This:

Remember the game Hide & Seek? Crouched in a corner? Trying to breathe without making noise? One person hides and another person seeks. That’s how it works. The truth is, it’s not all that different from our lives now. We may do it in different ways, but we are all trying to hide from things we don’t like. Things like pain, embarrassment and fear. We hide from things that hurt us. On the flip side, we’re all seeking certain things too. We spend a lot of time and energy seeking acceptance, excitement, fun, and whatever will make us feel good. The hard truth is we are rarely successful. What happens when our best efforts fail? When, no matter how hard we try, pain still gets in and happiness still gets away? Sometimes, part of growing up is deciding to stop playing the game.

Think About This:

7am: I hate my outfit.

3pm: Yes! School’s out!

5pm: I hate my life.

8pm: Best day ever!

Live with a teen long enough and you’ll start to see a pattern: up, down, good mood, bad mood, happy, sad. We’ve all heard about the emotional swings of adolescence and probably remember living through our own version of it. Any combination of homework, happenings, and hormones can turn them into a grouchy mess or a giggling goofball. Actually, research indicates that, during puberty, teen’s brains develop the ability to experience intense emotions like rage, sorrow, and elation. Unfortunately, neural connections that help students control and process these emotions doesn’t develop until later.   (http://www.livescience.com/21461-teen-brain-adolescence-facts.html )

So pace yourself, because for at least a few years, you’ll have teens who have strong emotions but no tools to sort through them yet. The good news is, there are a few things you can do to help them navigate the ups and downs until your teenager figures out how to work through the on their own.

1. Be there for them, but don’t join in. As much as they hate to admit it, students will often take emotional cues from their parents. How you react to their situation will give them an idea of how they should react. So, as parents, we must be careful not to get sucked in to the meaningless drama of the lunch table or the contagious funk of teen angst. Empathize, but don’t participate. This doesn’t mean we have to hide our emotions or live like robot, but it does mean that we don’t hop on the emotional roller coaster with them every time it goes by.

2. Help them zoom out. Perspective is everything. Often with teens, when one thing is going badly they feel like everything in their life is falling apart. Or, if one thing is going well, they may focus on that and feel that nothing else matters. Either way, it us up to us to help them find perspective until their brains mature enough to sort out what is a big deal and what isn’t. This doesn’t mean we belittle their emotions. What they feel is very real to them, but we can help them gain some perspective by working to zoom out their lens and take in the bigger picture.  Ask them to tell you…

…one good thing that happened to them today.

…5 things they’re thankful for.

…2 things they’re looking forward to doing.

Focusing on what’s going well or what’s coming next or can help them digest what’s happening now.

Try This

Sometimes the best thing we can do for our students is simply to let them know we’re praying for them. Here are two options to help you get started:

1. Choose one thing to pray for your student this week. Don’t make it behavior related, but rather something you want for them. And drop a sticky note in their lunch or backpack letting them know.  It can be as simple as, “Hey, I’m praying for you to have a great basketball practice this week” or “Hey, I’m praying for you to feel confident this week”.
2. Ask your student how you can pray for them or their friends this week. And promise to do it. Since prayer requests are so personal, this is probably not the time to launch into a lesson or follow up questions. Simply let your student know that you love them and you’re praying for whatever is important to them.

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