Take A Leap

WE ARE TEACHING THIS:
Remember the thrill of thinking you could fly? When you were little, you believed you could do anything. You had faith that anything you did would be amazing! You spent hour after hour trying to be something, do something, and accomplish something, with no worry of what people would think.

I believed I would be a professional basketball player. I spent hours in the back yard, playing basketball, by myself, being every player on the team. I was Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. I would guard myself. Block my own shots. Foul myself. And in the end, I would both win and lose! I was amazing. I even cheered for myself (but I never put on a cheerleader skirt... until high school, but that was a joke). But at some point, as I grew, my imagination became dull. I haven't played basketball like that for a couple days now... 

Sometimes our faith does the same thing. There are points when we are on fire and totally trusting and seeing God work. Then, other times... it becomes dull and kinda boring. What if we could do something about those moments? What if God had something bigger planned for us than we realized? How would we notice it? Would we be willing to "take a leap" of faith and trust Him?

THINK ABOUT THIS: 
There is a difference between having faith... and having a child-like faith. In Matthew 18, Jesus calls out His disciples on this. Their faith was missing the point. They were more worried about being the greatest, than they were about trusting Jesus. They stopped believing in who Jesus was... their faith became dull and self-centered. In John 10:10, He even tells them that He is promising an abundant life! 

For many people growing up in the church, their faith becomes dull. Not that they lose faith... but they feel like they have heard it all before. Nothing surprises them. What about you and your family... has faith become dull and un-imaginative?

TRY THIS:
This week, talk to your kids about their faith. Ask them the following questions (and be ready to give them your honest answers, too)

• If you could be anything that God wanted you to be, what would it be?
• What one HUGE thing you want God to do that only He could do for you and/or your family and friends?
• What is one thing you want to accomplish before you graduate High School / or die?

Hide & Seek: The Roller Coaster

We’re Teaching This:

ESP: Keep those 3 letters in mind as you read this. I'll come back around to them. Hide & Seek would not be the same, without someone hiding and someone seeking. It's kinda creep if everyone is hiding (and no one is seeking)... and it's boring if everyone is seeking (and no one is hiding). Hide and Seek requires both hiders and seekers. When it comes to life, I've always said, if everything was always fine, it would always be boring. We don't like pain. We never want to see the ones we love, hurting. But it's the pain and hurt and brokenness in life, that allows us to understand joy. I know, sounds crazy... but think of it this way... all that Jesus went through on the cross... all that brokenness led to grace and joy for us! Without that, we would just be helpless, hopeless, and boring. But when things go bad, how we view those moments and how we react makes all the difference if we experience further brokenness or further joy. One of our girls groups, when asked, "how do you deal with pain in life", said "ESP: Eat, Sleep, Pray". I told them that was good... nice that they included prayer, but what happens 5-10 years down the road when every time something bad happened they ate ice cream, then slept, and sprinkled in a prayer? After a few years, they will probably look in the mirror and move from brokenness into depression because of the affect tubs of ice cream and sleeping would have on their body. Sometimes the way we deal with the bad times, just leads to more worse times. 

Think About This:

So we focused on what Peter tells us to do when we suffer in 1 Peter 5:6-10:

• Humble Yourself (1 Pet. 5:6)
• It's not about putting yourself down. Being humble is being real with who you are, and Who you aren't. People without humility think the world revolves around them. They don't do anything wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Humble people realize their part in the pain, realize they are not always in control of what happens to them... but they also realize WHO is. They are not God, but God is. They are sinners, God is holy. The world revolves around God, not them.
• Be Alert (5:8)
• It's not so much about looking for the devil. Satan does not do anything that Jesus does not allow him to. It's more about realizing that when we are broken, hurting, and in pain, we are more susceptible to falling prey... we are more apt to sin
• Resist Sin (5:9)
• Who you put your faith in is key... faith in yourself, your friends, your family, your finances, your escapes... or faith in God. God loves you more than you can imagine. God knows what's best for you, even when life doesn't make sense. And God is control, no matter what happens. Don't give in to the lie that Satan is in control, that everyone hates you, that God hates you, that you aren't loved, that you are too messed up. Those are all lies... and easy lies to believe when bad things happen

Try This

In light of all that, what can we do, with out kids, when they go through hard times? How about when we go tough moments. The truth is, pain will come. Hurt will come. Brokenness will happen. But remembering that

GOD TURNS BROKEN INTO BEAUTIFUL 

seems hard to remember. Here are 2 things to do with your kids this week (and throughout the month/year) that may help remind them of God's promises (note what Peter says God will do if they work through the suffering moment with humility, alertness, and resistance - 1 Peter 5:10):

1. Pray through Joy
• WOW - What makes you say "Wow"? When things are going well, pray and tell God what He did was a "wow-moment" for you.
• THANKS - It's easy to forget to thank God (or others) when things are going well. Take the time to thank God specifically this week, as a family.
2. Pray through Pain
• HONEST - Sometimes, we don't understand God or why things happen. One way to work through that is to be honest with God. David and other Psalmists (in the book of Psalms) we very honest with their feelings towards God. Job was confused by what was happening, and was honest with God. Sometimes being honest can be the best thing for our (and our student's) faith)
• HELP - Sometimes we need help. Not only from our friends and family, but from God. And He is ultimately the only one that can really help us. He may not answer the way we want Him to... but refer to above ("Humble Yourself"), He is God and we are not.

Put this into practice as a family this week. Take the time to pray through your joy if it's a good week... and pray through your pain if it's not so good. Look for those moments, each day, to do that with your kids. Remember,

GOD TURNS BROKEN INTO BEAUTIFUL

Hide & Seek Series

We’re Teaching This:

Remember the game Hide & Seek? Crouched in a corner? Trying to breathe without making noise? One person hides and another person seeks. That’s how it works. The truth is, it’s not all that different from our lives now. We may do it in different ways, but we are all trying to hide from things we don’t like. Things like pain, embarrassment and fear. We hide from things that hurt us. On the flip side, we’re all seeking certain things too. We spend a lot of time and energy seeking acceptance, excitement, fun, and whatever will make us feel good. The hard truth is we are rarely successful. What happens when our best efforts fail? When, no matter how hard we try, pain still gets in and happiness still gets away? Sometimes, part of growing up is deciding to stop playing the game.

Think About This:

7am: I hate my outfit.

3pm: Yes! School’s out!

5pm: I hate my life.

8pm: Best day ever!

Live with a teen long enough and you’ll start to see a pattern: up, down, good mood, bad mood, happy, sad. We’ve all heard about the emotional swings of adolescence and probably remember living through our own version of it. Any combination of homework, happenings, and hormones can turn them into a grouchy mess or a giggling goofball. Actually, research indicates that, during puberty, teen’s brains develop the ability to experience intense emotions like rage, sorrow, and elation. Unfortunately, neural connections that help students control and process these emotions doesn’t develop until later.   (http://www.livescience.com/21461-teen-brain-adolescence-facts.html )

So pace yourself, because for at least a few years, you’ll have teens who have strong emotions but no tools to sort through them yet. The good news is, there are a few things you can do to help them navigate the ups and downs until your teenager figures out how to work through the on their own.

1. Be there for them, but don’t join in. As much as they hate to admit it, students will often take emotional cues from their parents. How you react to their situation will give them an idea of how they should react. So, as parents, we must be careful not to get sucked in to the meaningless drama of the lunch table or the contagious funk of teen angst. Empathize, but don’t participate. This doesn’t mean we have to hide our emotions or live like robot, but it does mean that we don’t hop on the emotional roller coaster with them every time it goes by.

2. Help them zoom out. Perspective is everything. Often with teens, when one thing is going badly they feel like everything in their life is falling apart. Or, if one thing is going well, they may focus on that and feel that nothing else matters. Either way, it us up to us to help them find perspective until their brains mature enough to sort out what is a big deal and what isn’t. This doesn’t mean we belittle their emotions. What they feel is very real to them, but we can help them gain some perspective by working to zoom out their lens and take in the bigger picture.  Ask them to tell you…

…one good thing that happened to them today.

…5 things they’re thankful for.

…2 things they’re looking forward to doing.

Focusing on what’s going well or what’s coming next or can help them digest what’s happening now.

Try This

Sometimes the best thing we can do for our students is simply to let them know we’re praying for them. Here are two options to help you get started:

1. Choose one thing to pray for your student this week. Don’t make it behavior related, but rather something you want for them. And drop a sticky note in their lunch or backpack letting them know.  It can be as simple as, “Hey, I’m praying for you to have a great basketball practice this week” or “Hey, I’m praying for you to feel confident this week”.
2. Ask your student how you can pray for them or their friends this week. And promise to do it. Since prayer requests are so personal, this is probably not the time to launch into a lesson or follow up questions. Simply let your student know that you love them and you’re praying for whatever is important to them.

 Get connected to a wider community of parents at www.orangeparents.org. 

Branded: Unity

1. We’re Teaching this.

Branding- it’s everywhere. You can’t turn on the TV or drive down the street without seeing hundreds of ads and billboards. Companies spend millions of dollars trying to shape how YOU see THEM, developing their brand. But what about the Church? What are WE known for? Philippians chapter 2, has a lot to say about the way we love others. As we unpack this chapter, we discover that our love for people, both inside and outside the church, ultimately determines what we are known for—our brand. 

This week, we our key Biblical principle was: TOGETHER WE CAN DO MORE

There is something about being in a group of people that empowers us. In our day and age where being a Christian is nearly evil, as a group, we can do so much more. We have support, encouragement, infused energy, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to hug, a companion who is pointing us back to the Gospel. That's why youth group, church, and serving in ministry is so important. We see the value of being together in the first 2 verse of Philippians 2. 

The guys groups said that we should be known for being welcoming, focused on God, and fun. Take a look at those first 2 verses in Philippians 2 and see if you see those same expectations from Paul.

2. Think About This

I read this article and I thought it was a great way to challenge us, as parents, this month.

From Losing Your Marbles / Playing for Keeps by Reggie Joiner, Kristen Ivy, Elizabeth Hansen

"I remember a few years ago when I was leading a small group and one of the girls had stopped attending. I knew she was making some unwise choices related to drinking, and she was choosing not to come to church anymore because she didn't want to feel judged. But here’s the interesting thing: she still liked hanging out. We would meet from time to time, at Starbucks, at a school event,—anywhere that she knew we would have fun. And
in those moments, I didn't talk about her decisions. She knew what I thought. But I knew at that juncture in her life, it was more important to have fun and stay connected than to continue reminding her of something she already knew.

Hint: most kids and teenagers shut down when you take the eye-to-eye, “let’s talk about what’s going on” approach, they tend to talk when they’re engaged in a fun activity, not making eye contact, and feel in control of the agenda.

If you’re a parent, you may need to set aside time with your kids when you agree not to discuss their issues. This can be especially true if they are in a tough season of life. When the tension is high, you need a scheduled break—just to have fun together.

It’s not that fun is the most important thing. If you give teenagers words and stories that are boring, they may not care. If you belong to a tribe that never laughs, they won’t want to be a part of it.

So whatever you do this week,

MAKE IT FUN."

3. Try This

When is the last time your family had fun without an agenda? No strings attached, fun? No lesson involved, fun? No obligations to the baseball team, work picnic, church activity or school involved, fun?

Maybe it’s time for that.

Ask your student for ideas on something that they think would be really fun to do as a family. Students tend to engage more when they have some input into which activity is chosen. Say something like this, “I think it’s time we do something fun as a family. How would you feel about planning it?” Some students really like to go to the mall. Others hate it. Some would love to play mini-golf with their family. Others would cringe at the idea. Allowing them to plan the event, offering some ownership, can help students have a positive attitude and prevent the dreaded eye-roll.  

As parents, sometimes the idea of a family event can be intimidating. “What if my teenager doesn't want to be seen in public with me?”  That’s the great thing about letting THEM choose. They may choose a big night out but or they may ask for a simple movie night in the house. Choose to have fun together no matter what you do!  Simply spending time together as a family without fighting can go a long way in easing the tension between parents and teens.

Make a commitment on your part to do the activity—no agenda, no complaining, and no lecturing. So give them a budget limit, if appropriate, and let them be as creative or as simple as they want

Just have fun together. Remember, the goal is to let students know you not only love them, but you like them and what better way to communicate that than by hanging out with them and having fun?