Road Signs: Caution (Weeks 3 & 4)

Your direction, not your intentions, determine your destination.

Your attention influences your direction

For a High School student, this doesn't sink in until they've already headed down the wrong path. It's our responsibility as parents to help our kids see which path they should take. Even if they don't take it... we have the challenge of helping them navigate their path. 

1. We’re Teaching This

What you put your attention on, has tremendous influence on what direction you go. That's why time reading your Bible, praying, going to church/youth group, and seeing every relationship as an opportunity to point someone to Christ is so important. It may not reap immediate benefits, but by giving those things your attention, you will be better prepared to make tough decisions when you come to them.

2. Think About This

If you are going on a trip, 20 years ago, you would have pulled out a map of the place you were going and you would have marked key places you wanted to go. At my daughter's elementary school, the 6th grade class would go to San Francisco. They had to mark, on a map, the places they wanted to go and what buses or public transportation they needed to take to get there. There's something to be said about preparing to make decisions before you have to make decisions. It's a huge stress relief when you know where you are going and how to get there. 

But in real life situations, we just find ourselves at a point of having to make a decision... so how do we help our kids see the value of spending time with God, in His Word, praying, and being the Gospel in our relationships?

3. Try This

Step 1: MODEL

• What do you give your "attention" to? Are you spending time in God's Word, praying, living our the Gospel in your relationships? 

Step 2: ENCOURAGE

• Each month, we have a new series. And with each series, we have a Bible Study book that goes along with the series. Encourage your teens to grab one of the booklets and ask them what they are learning in their time with God through the Bible Study.
• Ask your teens for things in their lives (or people they know) that needs prayer. Commit to praying for them for the week. Even take time to pray with them for those things.

Step 3: LISTEN

• Listen to their stories. Find out how their day went ( I know this can be like "pulling teeth through the arm-pit"). Look for teachable moments... not to preach at them, but to find out what they are thinking and learning through their experiences. You may even want to document what you hear from them, so that down the road, you can remember what to pray for them, for; and you can show them how God is working in their lives over the years.

NEW SERIES STARTS THIS SUNDAY! GAME ON (A STUDY OF DANIEL)

Road Signs: One Way (Week 1 & 2)

You direction, not your intentions, determine your destination.

For a High School student, this doesn't sink in until they've already headed down the wrong path. It's our responsibility as parents to help our kids see which path they should take. Even if they don't take it... we have the challenge of helping them navigate their path. 

So a little different format this month... a challenge to start off:

1. We’re Teaching This

If you set your course in the wrong direction, you’ll end up in the wrong place every time. No matter where you hope to end up, the road you choose matters. The book of Proverbs gives us wisdom to help navigate the choices of life, because we know that each choice determines the direction of our lives. And it’s our direction, not our intention that ultimately determines our destination. Where are you heading? What path are you on?

2. Think About This

It’s easy—in the midst of the busy-ness and craziness of life—to get off course. It’s easy to forget goals we’ve set and ideas we once had of who we want to be and just keep trucking along, ticking things off our lists and getting the next “thing” done. It’s the tyranny of the urgent and it often keeps us stuck in the immediacy of the moment.

This can be true for our families as well, can’t it? We start off with young children, thinking about all of the goals we have—the values and virtues we want to instill and model for our children. And then, life happens and things just start going too fast. And suddenly, we see road signs—we see warnings—telling us that maybe, somewhere along the line, we’ve gotten off course. It’s the moment we realize that though we intended to head in one direction, our choices of what to do with our time, money, words and actions take us in a different direction.

It’s totally normal. It’s a place most people with children—of any age—often find themselves. And it’s a place we don’t have to stay in.

To remedy it, it may be that the best thing to do is to take a step back and look around. Look back at the things we had once hoped for our families. And then, look forward towards the steps we can take to get to where we ultimately want to go. Make a plan. Take a moment to pause and refocus—to do a little course-correction. A small pause and a little action can go a long way.

3. Try This

Pick Two: Two Words, Two Rules, Two Answers

Get your family together to try the following:

Two Words

Together, pick two words/phrases that you would like to describe your family. Feel free to come up with some of your own as well:

• fun
• connected
• generous
• healthy
• less busy
• good communicators
• patient
• open to other people/families
• servants
• good stewards

Two Rules

There are two rules for when your family does this.

1)     Don’t call anyone out. This is not a chance to dish, bash or point figures. It’s a chance to move forward.

2)     There are no perfect answers. Just start brainstorming and go from there!

Two Answers

1)     What is the first step you need to take to make each of the words/phrases you chose above a reality for your family?

2)     What kind of mile markers and guardrails/boundaries can you set up as a family to make sure you stay on course for the long haul? 

Week 4: LIVE315 - Gentleness & Respect

YOUR MAIN PURPOSE FOR HAVING RELATIONSHIPS IS TO POINT THEM TO THE GOSPEL

We wrap up our series by looking at the last part of 1 Peter 3:15... the "how to" section.

We use a phrase in our culture... "DIY" or "Do it Yourself". The idea of "doing it yourself" is that whatever project you are doing, you will save money and get what you want if you "do it yourself". 

When it comes to living our our faith, it's important that we don't just go through the motions (see logo on the left). We can't forget that God calls us to something more. Throughout the Bible, God tells us to "go and make disciples". Sure, He can send missionaries to do that. He can "hire" professionals... but He calls us to "do it ourselves". We are all called to point the people we come into contact with, towards the Gospel.

Obviously, the next question is "how do I do this?" Well, in regards to people noticing something different about us, Peter tells us to react to life situations, tension, frustrations, even suffering with "GENTLENESS AND RESPECT". Easier said than done? Absolutely... unless you have the Holy Spirit residing in you. If you honor Christ as holy in your heart, you will be prepared to give an answer because people will see the hope that is in you... and to have a lifestyle of gentleness and respect only adds to the curiosity people will have for the "hope that is in you".

So where is your hope? What about your teen? What about your family? Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 3:14-18

What does "gentleness & respect" look like with authority, husbands & wives, and even children?

Discuss: 

• What are some ways we should show "gentleness" in how we respond to someone?
• What are some ways we should show "respect" in how we treat someone?
• Who are some "relationships" that God has put us in, that need to know about the hope that we have in Christ? Pray for them as a family.

Week 3: What You Put Hope In, Matters: HOPE

WHAT YOU PUT YOUR HOPE IN, MATTERS

We can hope in a lot of things. I hope that I don't fall down today. I hope that all my wildest dreams come true. I hope that my wife forgets that I forgot our anniversary. I hope I pass this test... even though I didn't study. I hope that God is who He says He is and will do what He's promised to do.

Obviously, "hope" can carry a lot of meaning. But, after 18+ years in youth ministry, 1 thing about teenagers hasn't changed: The need for something to "hope" in. 

If their hope is in stuff (money, popularity, friends, career, grades, etc.), then they tend to live with a lot of disappointment. Those who hope in things that are unpredictable tend to throw words around like "depressed", "life sucks", "YOLO", etc. Or they use excuses for their behavior and choices, simply to cover up their disappointment in things they have "hoped" for.

But those who put their hope in God... they are different. They stand out. There seems to be something different about them. It's like they get "it". They appreciate Jesus' sacrifice differently than most. People want to be around them. Some people may be put off by them... but many end up wanting what they have... hope.

Tim Tebow is a great example of this... in the pro football world, he drives "experts" crazy. They can't understand how he can put his hope in God, even when life doesn't work out perfectly. Why does he give God glory, even when life "sucks"... he gets traded from a team whom he played his heart out for, led them to the playoffs and into a big win (while throwing the ball over 300 yards)... he gives God the glory. He endures a terrible season with a team who didn't want him. He gives God the glory. He gets cut from another team after an amazing performance with guys who weren't going to make the team... he gives God the glory. He uses phrases like "I don't know the future, but I know the One who does. I'm trusting that He knows what's best for me." Even when life doesn't make sense. That's hope... hope in a future that is unimaginable with a God who loves us more than we can imagine.

So where is your hope? What about your teen? What about your family? Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 3:14-18

What does it mean to give a "reason for the hope that is in you..."?

Discuss: 

• What are some things we should put our hope in?
• What are some things that have happened that we haven't liked?
• How can we put our hope in God through those situations and ones like it in the future?

Week 2 - What You Do Now Prepares You For What Happens Next: PREPARED

WHAT YOU DO NOW PREPARES YOU FOR WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

After playing 4 years of college basketball, I can easily look back and see how all those hours of practice prepared me for each game. But little did I know that all those hours at practice was preparing me to be a father, a husband, a pastor, a counselor, a mentor, a coach, a leader, and a follower of Christ. Sometimes, we don't realize how important "being prepared" really is 

In 1 Peter 3:15 (and as we saw last week), Peter challenges us to begin with honoring Christ in our hearts... our bottom line last week was, "Standing up begins in the heart". If you want to stand up for something, then who or what we are honoring should be first and foremost in our minds. When we do put Christ first and honor Him as holy, people will notice... they will question... and when they do, Peter wants us ready to give an answer. 

He uses the word "prepared" on purpose. We see throughout 1 Peter 1 & 2, that what we do now, prepares us for what(ever) happens next. If our actions are full of hate, retaliation, deceit, hypocrisy, and/or to slander others (see 1 Peter 2:1), we will actually be limiting our future. Peter wants us too look past the glass being half empty or half full... quit dwelling on this moment or feeling. What is beyond the glass? You are chosen, a royal priesthood, a child of God with the promise of an inheritance... so what happens today, pales in comparison to what will happen in the future.

The key is this... looking past the now, and preparing for what could happen next. That's why going to youth group, family devotions, church, personal devotions, prayer, memorizing Scripture, serving others... all are so important. Because each of those faith-skills is preparing you for whatever may happen next.Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 2:9-12

What does it mean that you (and your family) are a chosen race, a royal priesthood?

Discuss: 

• How is submitting to authority preparing someone for later on?
• Have a dating discussion... how is dating preparing a person for marriage? (See 1 Peter 3:1-7)
• How have you seen God's mercy at work in your family?

Week 1 - Standing Up Begins in the Heart: Honor

STANDING UP BEGINS IN THE HEART

This week, we began by looking at 1 Peter 3:15. Peter speaks into the idea of standing up for what's right (being righteous) and suffering for it. This is all too common in our kids' lives today. Being a Christian is not a popular thing. Christians are seen as judgmental, arrogant, hateful, and exclusive... all things that are the opposite of what being a Christian is. But how do you combat a worldview that you can't control? The early Christians were in the same predicament... and Peter wanted to help them with "giving an answer for the hope" they had in Christ. Our students can learn this as well. 

Peter says that standing up begins with honoring Christ as Lord in your heart. In 1 Peter 1, he gives them the perspective a Christian should have... most people see the glass as half-empty or half-full... he tells the early Christians to look past the glass and focus on the inheritance God has for them. When struggles come, when pain comes, when rejection comes, look past the glass. 

He goes on in 1:13 to focus on being "holy", even when no one else around is trying to live to that standard. Then, in 2:1-5, he challenges them that they are to be "living stones" (click here for further insight: Living Standing Stones Article). They are to be an example of what God has done.

None of this is possible if an individual's heart is not focused in the right direction... on honoring Christ in everything they do. Take a look at the following passage:

Read: 

1 Peter 1:13-20

What are you and your kids doing now, that is preparing their minds for action?

Discuss: 

• What are you doing to prepare, as a family, for standing up for what you believe?
• What is 1 thing, as a family, we can do better to be more prepared?
• What are some "living stone" moments that our family has experienced where we have seen God at work?

LIVE 315: Intro

"How do I stand up without sticking out?"

Big question. Initially, we may think the one asking the question lacks faith or is embarrassed about what they believe. But when you dig deeper and listen, it's not about fear of being wrong... it's a fear of being rejected. But the beauty of being a Christian is that everyone can be accepted. In fact, Christianity should be the most loving, welcoming, and life-changing religion. 

But we know the being a Christian isn't about religion... "it's a relationship". But what if what we believe will actually hurt that relationship? Sticking out for what we believe may be a deeper issue than just saying, "You have to have faith." Peter gives specific principles that will help any teenager who is "working out their own salvation", figure out how to stand up without sticking out.

Read: 

1 Peter 2:1-3

• Our kids are growing up. Hopefully they aren't still drinking baby's milk from the bottle... actually, I hope they aren't drinking baby's milk. I hope we don't think that by sending them to church, that will make them grow up to be like Jesus... it will help, but it won't make them like Jesus. Our kids will become like the ones they spend the most time with... their greatest influence isn't TV stars, movies, music, friends, teachers, or even church. It's their parents. And what their parents show them within their faith, will become their faith. Our kids are trying to own their own faith. Physically or emotionally hurting someone, lying, saying one thing but doing another, wanting what other people have, making fun of people and making other look bad... those are all "childish" reactions... issues of a bigger heart issue. Open up the discussion this week and contrast "childish faith" vs. "adult faith". Are there any differences? Make sure you answer the questions honestly, too.

Discuss: 

• What is the difference about acting like a child and acting like an adult?
• Which childish behavior are you most prone to?: Angry reactions; Lying; Hypocrisy; Envy; Putting others down
• In what ways has God been good to us?

I Wish

In the main services, we are looking at the subject of "Doubt"... the other side of the coin is "Regret". While doubt may keep us from responding with trust, regret is a consequence of letting your doubts or fears control your reactions. Understand this... our kids have doubts. They may not verbalize them... but they have doubts. Doubts can be a healthy part of our faith-development. But regret... that's a whole different issue.

We all have regrets—decisions we wish we could take back. And sometimes we also get the chance to realize the benefits of a good decision. So what makes the difference between the two? And what does Jesus have to say that can help us have less “I wish I had” moments and more “I’m glad I did” ones?

This week, we said - Do we want to look back on our teen years with more "I wish I had" moments or "I'm glad I did" moments?

Read: 

Matthew 7:24-27

• This is a famous parable. And while we tend to focus on the "rock" and the "sand" foundations. We forget another aspect. Both of these "home builders" had been taught how to build a house. They both had been trained. They both had experienced storms. They both had the same supplies... the difference is that one of them decided to ask themselves "The Best Question Ever"... WHAT IS THE WISE THING TO DO? This question, when put into practice, eliminates many "I wish I had" moments. Jesus said that following His word is what set these builders apart. So... what is the wise thing to do? Follow Jesus' words, or not?

Discuss: 

• What is the difference between "Regret" and "Doubt"?
• Share about some times when you look back and you "wish you had" done something different
• Share about some times when you look back and you were "glad you did" in some situations

REVEAL: Refocus

Miracles. The Gospels are riddled with these amazing acts of compassion and mercy. It's so easy to get caught up in the "miracles" (WHAT), that we miss the main point of the miracle itself (WHO)... glorifying God.

The greatest miracle... the champion of all miracles? That's an easy discussion... Jesus' death and resurrection. Think of it: God died. Actually died. Not "went to sleep". Not "went into a coma". He died. And, 3 days later, He rose from the dead. And why? So that you and I could have a relationship with Him. 

The miracle of Jesus’ resurrection refocus’ us on the WHO through the WHAT 

When we accept Christ as our Savior, we begin to identify with His death and resurrection. But there are 2 foundational expressions of that identity that we practice... that may be minimized more than we intend to:

1. Communion
• Communion is a way that we have been called to remember what Christ did for us on the cross. It's intent is to refocus us and remind us what it means to be identified with Christ and the miracle of His death. 
• It's not intended to be something that we only remember once a month when we take it as a church... whenever we "break bread" or drink something that reminds us of His blood and body that was punished and poured out for us... we should remember His sacrifice
2. Baptism
• Baptism is a way that we identify with Christ's resurrection. We are following Him and identifying ourselves with Him through an act of testimony and obedience.
• It's not just for those who are "Christians" or just our church... it can be a great expression for our non-christian friends to see what is most important to us.

READ: Galatians 2:20 & Ephesians 4:20-25

Discuss:

• What could communion look like on a daily basis for you and your family?
• What do you and your family feel about baptism?
• If you haven't been baptized... what's holding you back?
• If you have... what's a way you can continue to identify with Jesus' resurrection?
• This week, sit as a family and watch "The Passion". It's an incredible visual reminder of what Christ went through and what we are identifying with...

REVEAL: Reconnect

So we missed last week... but here's the gist: "A miracle reveals how good God is"... and last week we said "A miracle reminds us who God is." Remember, a miracle is not about the WHAT, it's about the WHO. The miracle itself doesn't matter if God is not glorified. Last week, we talked about a miracle that usually isn't seen as a miracle: Jesus (God in the flesh) washing the feet of the disciples. Think about it... God washing feet! And then, Jesus says that those who follow Him will do "greater things" than He has done. We looked at the Greek word for "greater things" and it is a word that is more about compassion, acts of mercy, and teachings than it is healing, raising from the dead, and feeding people with 5 loaves and 2 fishes. There's a lot more to it... but that's where we got to up to this past Sunday... 

So this Sunday, we discussed another miracle that isn't usually thought of as a miracle: The Holy Spirit in us! Ok.. time to blow our minds: God... in Spirit... inside of us! Pastor Craig's question of "would you rather have Jesus beside you or the Holy Spirit inside you?"... that's a big question. A miracle that while the universe cannot contain God, He can dwell inside of you and I! So what does that miracle reveal?

A MIRACLE REVEALS GOD'S DESIRE TO CONNECT WITH US

Look at John 15-17... it's all about Jesus' sharing His desire that you and I be connected to God! If that doesn't blow your mind... think of it this way: 1 little sin... 1 slight "white lie" forever separates us from God. But Jesus' death and resurrection and our belief, somehow, is enough for God to see us as "sanctified" (holy, set apart). I would think that if someone sinned against me, and then I had to send my only son to die for them, I'm not sure I would want a relationship with that person... and yet that's exactly what God wants from us... He even pursues us!

And that's the role of the Holy Spirit... to guide us and bring us closer to God. 

Discuss:

• Would you rather... have Jesus beside you for 1 day or the Holy Spirit inside you for the rest of your life? (duh)
• Would you rather... have Jesus beside you every day or the Holy Spirit inside you for 1 day?... tougher question
• What blows your mind about the Holy Spirit?

Reveal: Redfine

This month, we continue through John as we look at what the different miracles that Jesus performed... why did he perform miracles for some and not others? What was the real purpose of those miracles? What kind of miracles happen today?

To start, we need to refine what a "miracle" really was about... it was not to show how cool Jesus was. The miracles were not intended to point people at Jesus... What we see throughout the scripture is that every Miracle that was performed was to reveal who God was. Many times, we get hung up on "the miracle". When your perspective on something is mis-guided, it's easy to misunderstand the intent. A miracle was meant to show and prove the glory and "goodness" of God in a time when both of those things were in question. We get so focused on the "WHAT" that we miss the "WHO". Jesus was constantly trying to get get people to look past the "WHAT" that had just happened... He always tried to point people to the "WHO"... God. 

A MIRACLE REVEALS HOW GOOD GOD IS

A Miracle only fully accomplishes it's purpose when it points back to God. Think of it this way... in each miracle, did the individual eventually die? Like Lazarus... one day, he's alive... then he's dead for 4 days... then he's alive. For how long, we don't know he lived after that, but it's a pretty safe guess that eventually, he died again. The miracle wasn't permanent. But God is... and the intent of every miracle was to promote the goodness and glory of God.

Look at John 11 (and the previous chapters)

Discuss:

• What are some miracles that we see in the Bible?
• What are some miracles that we have seen, in our everyday lives?
• What are some miracles we would like to see, today?

unLIKELY People Part 2

unLIKELY: An unLikely Person

PARENT SYNC:
Read John 3-4

God is not attracted to our abilities. He also isn't distracted by our inabilities. He simply wants us to trust Him and to be available to be used by Him. But how can God use us? What are we supposed to do?

One of our key principles that we teach is that "our main purpose for having friends is to point them to Jesus". The key is getting past ourselves, seeing who Jesus is, and recognizing how much we and our friends need Jesus.

This week, we determined that:

God uses unlikely people... to reach unlikely people

In John 3-4, we see 3 unlikely characters: 

• Nicodemus: He didn't need Jesus
• He knew all about the Old Testament. He had grown up in the temple and around religious elite leaders. He knew the Old Testament inside and out... and then came Jesus. He goes to meet with Jesus at night... maybe because he was embarrassed. Maybe because he had been busy during the day.
• When he realized that he needed Jesus, we see that he stands up for Jesus in John 7. And he provides expensive perfumes for Jesus' burial in John 19. Nicodemus' belief was put into action
• Samaritan Woman: She didn't deserve Jesus
• Her life was a mess. She was nothing more than an object. And yet Jesus saw something else in her. When she realized that she was loved and accepted, she brought her friends to meet Jesus
• Officer: He didn't know Jesus
• He didn't have to believe what the Jews believed about God. He had his own beliefs. But when life got tough and his beliefs didn't work, he turned to Jesus. Someone pointed him to Jesus. Someone told him about Jesus. And that "nudge" by that someone moved the officer to approach Jesus. And Jesus didn't change the way the officer believed (believe this and that will happen)... Jesus used it to reveal who Jesus really was... and the officer's entire family was changed.

3 unlikely characters. A Pharisee. A Samaritan woman. A Roman... each, when they connected with Jesus, they were changed and pointed their friends to Him.

Discuss the following...

• What makes you unlikely to be used by God?
• Who are some people that you are friends with that either don't "need" Jesus; don't "deserve" Jesus; or don't "know" Jesus?
• What are some things we can invite them to that will help point them to Jesus?

unLIKELY People

*New Series*
unLIKELY: An unLikely Person

PARENT SYNC:
Read John 1

For many students, it's difficult for them to believe that God could use them. But when we read the Bible, we see that God used unlikely people in unlikely places to get unlikely results. So what is it in many of our kids that limits them? Why don't they see how God can use them? 

This week, we determined that:

God is not attracted to our abilities; Or distracted by our inabilities

Look how God used John the Baptist in John 1. Then, look at the disciples. The disciples were mostly teenagers who were considered to be "not good enough" to follow a rabbi. And back then, that was like being on a varsity sports team or on student council or getting mega-scholarships for college. His first disciples were rejects. 2 of them had been disciples of a crazy tree-hugging hippie who made people get in a nasty, dirty river. He ate locusts! This is the only guy who would accept these 2 disciples... no wonder when they met Jesus, they ditched him.

Here's the deal, your kids need to know that God loves them the way they are and can use them, regardless of their abilities, inabilities, past, present, or future. And the best way for them to begin to process this is through reading God's Word and open, honest discussions with adults who are crazy about them. So... show that you are crazy about your kids... 

Discuss the following...

• What are some things you remember from the "talk" on Sunday morning?
• What are some abilities or qualities you wish you had?
• What are some of your abilities that God can use?